Futile training ?

Hi there, friend, good to talk to you today. Did I tell you I woke up sick today?

Just wondering . . . do you have kids? No? Maybe you have been one, maybe relate from a different vantage. Yes? Then you and I will relate from this vantage point today. I just have to tell you what God told me today. And to be honest, I didn't even think about Him being around at that particular moment and time. My mind and body were sort of preoccupied. You see, I woke up very sick this AM. High fever. Freight-train-running-you-over aches, skull-feeling- like-it-cracked-sometime-during-the-night kind of headache.

Ah, but I'm a mom, a wife, a worker, and you know life doesn't stop for us, it can't function without us. So many times we drag ourselves up, and almost accomplish it all in spite of illness. Or - dread of all dreads - we stay in bed a day or two - and then - horror of horrors, we face what piled up while we piled up.

When they were babies, and we got sick, we almost panicked as much as when they got sick. When they were toddlers, we could be sick to the point of rabid, and know they still could not be allowed to exist without proper care and supervision.

So somehow, we managed, thanks to our own moms or grandmothers, a super hubby, a close friend or three, but mostly the Grace of our Lord. So we've lived through it pretty much unscathed.

Oh, but how if we are truly honest weren't there those moments when we stood at the precipice looking at the destruction and chaos - and thought something like this:

"It wasn't like this when I was a little girl. There was soda and crackers, coloring books, crayons, vicks vaporub tenderly applied, baths given, treats in bed, cartoons past my normal limit" and other such memories.

Then I'd remember all the times the others were sick in my home. I raised two sons for a total so far of 34 years, been married to my sweet hubby for over 25, and I've been there for every virus, every flu, every food poisoning, every headache, every hospital trip, every surgery, you name it. Sleepless nights, more glasses of Sprite than I can count, toast, chicken soup, oh, and don't forget the Blue Bell Ice Cream, even making homemade floats and flurries, extra TV programs, fluffed pillows, hand delivered meds and TV trays, blankets added, blankets removed. Toilets cleaned, sheets changed in the middle of the night.

But most of the time, when it came my turn, unless my own mom traveled near, I was on my own, unless it was done with frowns, fatigue, grumps, or so it seemed to me on my pity trip. Oh, I did get sympathy and prayers. But not the tlc I wanted.

And I griped at the kids. And I griped at the hubby. And I griped at the Lord. "Don't you love me enough or care enough to help me? I'm sick! Don't you see what I did for you when you were sick? Didn't you learn anything growing up? Don't you love me enough to care of me like I care for you?" Wow. Mom on the warpath again, and taking a right turn on the pity party lane.

What does this have to do with today? Well, did I tell you about last weekend either? My 19 year old got sick, this same thing I woke up with today. But he's a hardworker, he hated being sick, too much to do, you know. He was so sick he was knocked off his feet. What did I do? I grabbed the TV tray, the sprite, the tylenol and advil, the cold medicine, the thermometer, and I checked on him every so often, made him cram his meds and liquids down, you know, just being mom.

What does this have with today? you ask again. Ok. Ok. Let me share this first. I woke up on time anyway, have a 15 year old, and school is back from the holidays. I must get him to school, and when I figure I can't make work I call a coworker and my boss, feeling like I'm committing a crime in doing so.

Then I hear the shower running, but my 15 yr old is eating breakfast, and unless I've done it in a stupor, it's not my shower running. I find my 19 year old in his - he's taking his brother to school and back for me today, "Mom, I'm doing that - you don't have to."

Cool. They leave, I crash back in my unmade bed, without evening having combed my hair, or brushed my teeth, and enter that state of sleeping feverishly. I feel as I sleep, that I'm getting worse, and really need liquid, my throat is parched, I need something to help this fever. I can hardly stir, I cry out to the Lord, "Ok, Lord, just help me raise up and make it to the bathroom, to get drink and meds, help me open my eyes."

And then He did it. He answered my prayer.

So what's the big deal you wonder.

Well, I pushed aside the 8 pound chihuahua heater, swung my feet over the bedside, sat up and right in front of me was a sight to behold.

There sat a TV tray.

On it were the following items: One glass of ice water, one thermometer, and one bottle of Advil and one box of cold medicine.

Wow.

I crawled out of bed, drank, took meds, used the restroom, and went in search of the only other human in the house- my 19 year old. It's his absolutly only "free" day before he goes back to college, all others were full of activities or work. He's on the love seat, also asleep. I pray a thanks, and go back to bed.

What did the Lord say to me? Didn't you hear Him? No? Here's what He said:

"Remember when I said train up a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it? I meant it. And all those time you thought what you were teaching was landing on deaf ears and hearts? It didn't. I landed on fertile soil. And it grew. It was not wasted. It was not useless. And more took root than even what you have seen today on that TV tray."

Oh, Lord, how blessed and loved I felt at that moment! I saw in my son the kindness and action to love not just by words used. To do when not asked, to care when needed. And I was the recipient, just how cool was that.

But you know, the Lord didn't leave it at that, He's good at doing that to me, He always has to add just one more thing.

"You know," he said, "I know how you felt all those times. I know as a father, a parent who loves and cares for his children day in and day out how it feels to see it seemingly ignored, taken for granted. I know how old it can get waiting for your kids to "get it", and for them to remember you and all you give so of yourself over and over. Yea, even you, you've done that with me, you know." Ouch . . ..

But He added, "But I also know the times you learned, and you showed you were fertile soil, you could love through actions without words, to be present, to meet needs. And that was when I was most proud of you. For that is when I saw Myself in you, your reflection of Me, your father. And that's how it should be."

"Oh. . . . . thank you, father. I heard You. I will take this to heart. I'm sorry for the times I was distant and self focused. Help me to have more times like my son had today. Help me to let others see my Father in me more and more. . . and bless us with your presence every day, I love you, amen."

He cares so for you, too, my friends, rest in that - sweet dreams.
Michelle